I wish my penis had an off switch
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
