i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
