If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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