i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
