Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
