it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
