i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They should really pass out barf bags in church
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
