People in love make me want to vomit
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
