Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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