If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
