remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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