when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
