just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
