since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
