In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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