It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
