I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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