What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
