I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
