david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
