absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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