He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
