he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
