it glows. i had to have it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
