To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
