If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
