What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize