I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
