went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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