I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
