whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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