I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My balls are so social today.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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