what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize