And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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