LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
