What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
