thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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