i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
