he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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