those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
