Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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