I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
