You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
