I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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