He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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