She said her name was "party"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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