She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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