Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
