Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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