After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
