oh god the rape fog is back!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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