Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
