what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
