he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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