so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
