If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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